Other people’s business

I tried to explain to some real-world friends recently my view that we create everything that happens to us. It made me realise that to people who have never heard of this concept before, it’s a pretty difficult one to get your mind around. A lot of people who might visit a blog like this will have already heard of the law of attraction which subscribes to this view, so I have failed to explain the idea to those who haven’t.

Such as my friends the other day.

Before my friends could begin to grasp the idea, we had to get clear that I’m saying our reality is largely created at the unconscious level. I’m not talking about blaming people for their misfortunes or judging people who have everything as better or more worthy than the unlucky ones. It’s not about worthiness.

I once read a book called Childrens’ Past Lives. Now, my-friends-the-other-day would struggle with the whole past-lives issue too but, for now, read the book if you like because that’s not what I’m here to talk about. The author  noticed that her children could describe in one sentence the purpose of any past life they could remember. For example, her two children said they had come into the same family in this life so that they could learn to treat each other well, after not so much success with that in previous lives. There is another level of purpose to the events we create in our lives beyond the conscious pursuit of pleasure or fulfilment. There is our unconscious, or higher conscious, purpose.

And when you stop and notice, it often takes hardship or even trauma to get a message through to the whole self. I have a condition called fibromyalgia and once I had got the message it seemed to be giving me that it was important to SLOW DOWN, I would tell it it could go away now. I would take care of the slowing down task on my own.

It didn’t. And, you know, there are so many things in the world that seem to take priority over slowing down. Slowing down can wait till tomorrow after I have met this crucial deadline or made the money for this important bill, or gone out with these old friends because I can’t possibly say no to them again or they will think I don’t like them any more.

The body says it better. It says Slow Down NOW! THIS is more important than all the world.

O-kaaay. . .

What I’m trying to say is adversity might be the perfect tool to create the outcome that serves our own higher-conscious purpose. Not that adversity is such a necessary tool any more but, again, that might be for another day. Suffice it for now to say that New Energy has put paid to that.

This idea that we create everything that happens to us is fundamental to everything I am trying to explain here and especially to the next thing I want to explain which is that judgement – of others or of ourselves – and the concepts of right and wrong or morality are no longer relevant or appropriate. It doesn’t really matter if you still judge – I do sometimes just for fun – but to be living effectively in the New Energy it’s important to keep in mind that whatever anyone else chooses to do is entirely their decision and if it affects me that’s because I created that effect and not because they are an asshole. Whatever happens to me is about me and it’s a distraction to start attributing blame or, more to the point, it disempowers me.

If these ideas are new to you, you are probably saying, ‘Where’s the proof?? Show me how I create all these external events!’ and I’m taking the easy road and saying I have no intention of doing that. It’s a theory, a model that may work for you, that may feel right or may not. It’s a suggestion. See if you like it. Everyone has an understanding of reality that is a theory or a model. The most hard-nosed rationalists might use the model that what you see is what you get and what you don’t see doesn’t exist. They can’t prove this either. Choose the one that works for you.

Teenage sex and other parental soap-boxery

I might be calling the kettle black with that soap box reference because I do have strong feelings about this, but it is also a part of the resumption of personal power and responsibility that is at the centre of the New Energy revolution.

I have a male friend whose 14-year-old daughter lives with her mother. Said mother has always been the strict and controlling variety of parent which was mostly fine for all concerned until recently. My friend’s daughter, let’s call her X since that is how her mother is inclined to characterise her at the moment, has got in with an older group of friends and her mother doesn’t approve and has banned the friendship. So X lied and went and spent a night with this group, including a 20-year-old man.

The mother is, of course, not handling it well to the extent that X is refusing to live with her any more so her father might have to move to the area so she can live with him. But the main issue as far as everyone including her father is concerned is did she have sex with this 20-year-old man? If so her mother will certainly send him off to jail if she has a say in it. Which, as far as she’s concerned, she does.

I keep on saying to my friend, her father, ‘What’s the big deal about the age of the man? Or about a 14-year-old having sex?’ Fourteen-year-old girls are mostly physically mature. They are designed for having sex. In the right conditions a lot of them want to have sex. Why do parents have this automatic blocking reflex, this automatic assumption that their teenager must be prevented from going where she chooses to go?

I have never received a convincing response to this question. People talk to me about the risk of stds, of unwanted pregnancy, or of being preyed upon by someone who could take advantage of their naivety, but all of these risks are best avoided with open lines of communication between the parent and teenager while she navigates this emotionally hazardous new path.

And the age difference? I just don’t know what that’s about. Why is it assumed, even by law in Australia, that it is better for an inexperienced girl to have her first fumbling sexual experience with an inexperienced boy, when she is still living the fairytale that he wants intimacy and the promise of blissful domesticity, and he is still living the passion to spread his seed as far and wide as he can? Both so pathetically unaware of the other’s agenda.

The issue of interference with another’s personal power is in its greyest area when it comes to parenthood because it is actually a parent’s job to obstruct a child’s wishes sometimes when that child has little or no understanding of safety or of social or practical necessity. All parents have to position themselves somewhere on a spectrum between extreme caution and extreme risk in regard to how much freedom they give their child as they navigate the hazardous path of human life. And on a spectrum of compromise between the parent’s lifestyle choices and those of the child. Somewhere between tadpoles in the bath and mudpies on the kitchen floor, and sparkling hygiene with narry a toy out of place.

Teenagers are not the same as children. They are, when you think about it, essentially adults who haven’t quite got control of their limbs. One thing teenagers are generally very clear about is that they are not receptive to being told how to run ther lives, they are not willing to have their decisions made for them. They could certainly use as much advice as they can get to avoid the pits they are prone to falling into, but they will only accept what is offered freely. They will only accept automony.

Controversial topic I know. Would love to hear your opinions.

My parallel universe

Imagination is such an ordinary part of our everyday life, I was amazed when I found the wealth of information it could unlock when I discovered Silvia Hartmann’s Project Sanctuary. If you are interested in getting this whole New Energy thing this is pretty important, for mine. Check it out in my guest post over here.

Going with your own flow

Essentially, the difference with New Energy is that our ‘higher self’ (or insert your favourite term) is here too, in our conscious awareness. The task is to bring the human self and the higher self into alignment which is like living in flow, living without inner conflict and, a big one for me, knowing why.

How do you know what your higher self wants?

By noticing what you want. Your higher self makes its opinions known through your desires, through what you feel like doing. You’d think this would be easy, you’d think we would have been following the promptings of our higher selves all along – and in a way we have – but look at how the Old Energy world was set up. We were filled with fear, with religious obligations, piety and such, even celibacy, prone to making vows and commitments, walking a path of hard slog for long-term gain, making something of ourselves. There was not much room for noticing what we wanted to do now and freely pursuing that.

I had a conversation today about justifying being ’slack’. I have a friend who’s daughter will start school soon so she will have more time available. ‘But I still just want to work three days a week,’ she said, ‘I want to have a bit of time for doing whatever I want.’ And then she and everyone else launched into a list of justifications for doing what she wanted to make it sound morally supportable.

‘How about: You want to and you can?’ said I. Nobody really heard me. We have a very tenacious attachment of guilt to doing what we want. We still have a very strong work ethic, and ‘work’ in said ethic has to be a bit of a chore. If it’s something we enjoy it’s not considered work and not considered morally valuable.

If you want to become more aligned with your flow, practise these expressions and feel how they roll off the tongue:

Because I want to.  and

Because I don’t want to.

It’s most important not to overlook the full stop. It’s not about, ‘I don’t want to because of some external factor that makes it appropriate that I don’t do it,’ it starts and finishes with identifying what you feel like doing. If you get the hang of it you won’t have to come up with so many lies:

I’m busy that night.

 I’m feeling sick.

 My grandmother died. 

 My cat ate it.

Been there. Don’t go there any more. My daughters and I have been following the feel-like-it principle for many years and now know how it goes to say no to each other. When a proposal arises, we each look inside ourselves and respond with either,

‘I don’t seem to feel like doing that.’ or

 ‘Yes, that seems to appeal to me.’

. . . following our noses along the path of least resistance, the flow of our personal, unified intents.

Pond life

The way to make things happen in the New Energy is to make your choice and then see what arises, follow the feel-like-it principle, pursue any opportunities that seem to inspire you. You don’t physically make it happen by pushing against reality, you allow it to happen by being open to reality.

When I first chose to adopt a New Energy approach to life while reading a Kryon channel I entered into a bit of  crisis. It was as though I was overwhelmed by the weight of the importance I had attached to the Issues of Life,  and it took me a couple of months to crawl out from under them. When eventually I emerged I came armed with an important new life philosophy: It Doesn’t Matter.

Profound, I know.

It was as though life was a murky pond that I had hunkered down to fit under the surface of, and now I had stood up. I could see all those old, dreadfully important issues way down there welling around my ankles.

It starts with you. For me it starts with me. The only actual, perceptible reality is that I am, in this moment. It’s not even true to say I am here, because even ‘here’ is outside of my actual known reality, it’s like a stage set, it’s outside of my felt existence. And ‘now’ is the only actual known moment. Me now is the zero point, everything stems from this.

So ponds and issues and stage sets stem from me, I do not stem from them. This is a good way of understanding the difference between Old and New Energy, that Old was a game of being subject to our own creations and New is understanding that we create them and we can change them if we want.

Don’t swim if there’s no water

I visit a lot of blogs that espouse beliefs or techniques that I don’t agree with. There is only one reason I continue to visit them and it’s the most important reason of all in the Kingdom of Hilary (I’m Hilary, hi! Welcome to my Kingdom.), because I want to.

(Suddenly I am overflowing with the things I want to tell you and I don’t know where to start.  Already I have introduced a tangeant that merits some explanation, but I’ll make my original point first:)

All the world’s a supermarket of beliefs

and all the men and women merely shoppers.

And some of us are stacking the shelves, and some of us are manufacturing the products but you get my point. All of us still have to shop at the supermarket. So if someone else’s blog advice is contrary to mine, I don’t feel obliged to tell them why they are wrong and to persuade the whole world that it should listen to me. What anyone else does or chooses is none of my business and to try and affect an outcome in them is to try and interfere with their personal power. I don’t know if you have picked it up yet, but a central theme of Life in The New Energy is that everyone retains their autonomy, makes their own decisions, and Knows Their Own Truth. I simply put my product on the shelves and leave the readers to select what works for them. If someone else’s version of reality conflicts with mine, it will be appropriate for some shoppers while mine will work for others.

Here’s a word that a lot of my favourite bloggers use:

Striving.

Now I won’t  be having with any of that kind of behaviour around here! You will not find this word in the list of ingredients on any of my products. Put your glasses on and check closely. It won’t be there.

Think of it this way: Old Energy is running in water and New Energy is running on dry land. But even more, Old Energy is dragging a car with a rope and New Energy is getting in and driving it. Ooh, oooh, I know: Old Energy is like, you’ve just arrived in a new city and you have booked a hotel. Weighed under all your luggage you go and buy a map and look up the address and then you find some bus and train timetables and you work out your route and, still hauling aforementioned luggage, you start your journey. New Energy is calling a taxi and telling the driver where you want to go as (s)he loads your luggage into the boot of the car.

The last analagy is best because you don’t need to know how to get there. You make a choice and it comes to you. Yours only to watch and be amazed.

When I first aligned myself deliberately with New Energy I started seeing double or triple numbers everywhere – whenever I looked at a clock, on number plates of cars, whenever I looked at the cricket score on TV. Everyone who adopts this view of reality comes saying the same thing, ‘What’s with all these repeating numbers? What does it all mean?’ It means, ‘You have stepped into a reality where everything is not random, the events around you are direct responses to the choices you make.’  They always were, but we lived in a reality based on a belief that this was not the case and so that is how it behaved.

You can’t drive a car when you are out in front pulling it by a rope. You can’t swim on dry land. In New Energy you can’t get anywhere by striving. That would be like turning the air back into water. Striving is to compact your molecules, if you know what I mean, and try and push reality into the shape you choose through the solidity of your body. It’s confrontational, it’s the clash of opposites. Reality is not, actually, outside of us. . .

but I’m tired and I can see I keep on coming up with more and more controversial statements that will need explanation and that might have to be for another day.

Personal peace 101

When I mentioned on Tim Brownson’s blog that anyone can achieve personal peace right now he was sceptical. Actually sceptical is not the mot juste here. He didn’t believe me.

So it occurred to me that if I am prepared to make such a claim it’s no use to anyone if I keep it to myself. Better tell you how to achieve personal peace right now right now. Not later.

Peace is easy because it’s the absence of stuff. I might not be able to tell you how to achieve a state of joy right now, or inspiration, because those are positive states, those are things you bring in. (Actually I may be able tell you how to achieve them one day too – I’ll get back to you on that.) But peace is simply letting go and allowing it to be.

How do you let go?

That’s easy too. Easiest thing in the world. Imagine you are hanging onto a rope for dear life because you are suspended by it over some abyss. Leaving aside the concept of a terrifying drop and painful, if mercifully quick, death it’s much easier to let go of the rope than hang onto it. You loosen your muscles. You relax.

Okay, so you die if you choose personal peace in this example which may or may not be the aim of the exercise, but bear with me for a minute. Let’s move from there to my habit of holding up any aeroplane I may be in by the armrests. Same instinctual response to danger as in the example above but considerably less effective. A waste of energy, in fact. Even if the plane were doing somersaults at the time or plunging vertically towards the earth, I’m pretty sure my armrest manoeuvres would make no difference to the outcome. I am yet to hear a flight crew after a near miss congratulating its passengers and saying, ‘Thanks for your armrest assistance, guys. We could never have done it without you. ‘

How about supporting your favourite football team or tennis star? We attach ourselves to an outcome with our muscles just like holding onto a rope to prevent actual death, or holding up an aeroplane just in case. It’s essentially the same bodily response and peace is achieved in the same way. Relax the muscles. Of course supporting a sports star or team is something we choose to do so peace isn’t always the preferred option, but there are plenty of situations in our lives in which we habitually resort to the Aeroplane Armrest Response. Perhaps you have applied for a job that seems perfect for you or that will provide a desperately-needed income; perhaps you are in an audition for a gig that could launch the actualisation of all your dreams; maybe you are going through chemotherapy for cancer or are waiting for the results of an HIV test.

We think it’s inevitable that we would worry in these situations in spite of the fact that worrying, contracting our soul, will make no difference to the outcome, or may even be detrimental. I’m saying don’t clench. Don’t resist and don’t clench. Feel afraid openly. Don’t try to be calm, to look on the bright side, to be strong, to stay positive. Allow all the feelings you may naturally be experiencing, and allow them with no resistance. Make like flywire, as I said to Tim Brownson, don’t set up a solid bodily reflection of the outcome you do not want, allow the outcome and all its demons to pass through you, or even to stay and party for a while, unimpeded.

Breathing can help.

Now I know that if you are reading this you are probably breathing already but let me explain. I have had two babies via the route God intended and I was taught breathing exercises  to use in chidbirth during my first pregnancy. We learned to breathe more deeply and slowly than before to the extent that we could watch the second hand do a full circuit of the clock face as we took one breath in and let it slowly out again. And we did exercises of contracting the muscles in, say, one leg and having someone check the floppiness of all our other limbs. Because childbirth is the extreme contraction of certain muscles which are best left unaided by the rest. I mean you can’t facilitate the process of childbirth by holding up the armrests. You can hinder it.

It’s hard to take deep, slow breaths into your diaphram, through the middle and upper sections of your lungs at the same time as holding a resistance pattern in your body. It’s easy, on the other hand, to notice where you are holding resistance and to let it go if you are breathing consciously.

The resistance model of achievement.

We are used to being in a process of achieving the life we want, of becoming the person we want to be, and we are used to thinking we have to reject everything that exists that isn’t a part of that ideal in order to propel us there. In other words we set up patterns of resistance to what is in our bodies, we hold the aeroplane up by the armrests. 

In fact there is no logical reason for doing it this way. There is no need to reject our current state to allow something different to take its place. For most of us the absence of a state of peace is a habitual state of rejection of what is. What about allowing everything as it is? What about allowing yourself to be exactly who you are right now? You may be able to think of a better option but you don’t have to clench to get there. I can give you a clench-free method of getting there one of these days too. Start here, and be at peace in this place.

The answer in a nutshell.

Make like flywire, let it flow through. Don’t clench. Let it be. Let the aeroplane fly. It will anyway.

Circumventing the economic crisis

While I was having my alfresco cappuccino this morning two businessmen sat at a table nearby and discussed, with a strong sense of benevolence and, you might say, ‘noblesse oblige’, some of their employees and the organisation of their company in their strong, businessman’s voices.

I work for myself these days so it stood out to me what a game of giving and taking power this is. They would have been good bosses to have if that conversation was anything to go by. They would have been fair, polite, and concerned that the talents and skills of their employees were recognised and rewarded.

Lucky employees, I thought, since 40 hours a week of their well-being depended on these men.

Looking from outside this social institution – the business hierarchy – it all made me cringe a bit. Thank God I am not subject to their good opinion, thank God my ability to support myself is not tied into providing them with something they deem to be good. Thank God I get to judge the merit of my own work.

If I might just venture a prediction as we enter a New Energy global paradigm: arrangements of hierarchy, of giving away, and taking away, personal power are things of the past. They are not the way forward. And if I may espouse a theory: the global economic crises is in fact the undoing of such a system of concentration of power. It is not the end of everything, just a fairly dramatic metamorphosis from an old system to a new. Could be bumpy for a few years – about four I’m told – but systems of inequality are no longer appropriate for humanity so, as far as I’m concerned, it’s all good.

And if I may offer advice if this rings true to you: don’t try to hold onto anything but personal power. The next four years will be much smoother if you let it go.

Willing participation in the Big Con

It was more obvious when I was a child, especially when you compare it to now. Just as the way we are now will look oh so obvious in another 30 or 40 years. I was very aware of the characteristics that were considered attractive in a girl: modesty, lack of aggression, accommodation of others’ needs, nurturing, caring, self-sacrifice. Later, in about the mid-nineties, I learned a lot about the Australian penal code and discovered that, for example, women were statistically given a longer sentence for an equivalent crime.

But these days I still occasionally hear someone taking a deliberately powerless stance and saying, when encouraged to stick up for her rights, ‘Oh I wouldn’t do that. That’s just not the kind of person I am.’

It’s not a uniquely feminine problem, I’m only using these examples because they are a part of my own experience. For all of us in centuries past religion has wielded the same power causing us to monitor ourselves lest we suffer eternal damnation for failing to deny our own impulse towards enjoyment and fulfilment.

How on earth were we persuaded to buy into this game?

Passion in the soul that has everything

This is not a how-to post. I am grappling with an issue that didn’t used to occur in old energy life and I’m in the mood for writing it all down.

What is life for? What do I do now?

I remember making the choice not to need a man. It was a hard decision to make because I thought if I don’t need a man I can’t imagine that I will want a man. Why would you put up with all that interference in your household rhythms and routines, have someone using up half your bedspace, compromise your TV programme selections? Why would you risk issues of jealousy, control, of being stood up, of wandering from your own path by the distraction and emotional compulsion of being in love? When you stand back and look at it dispassionately, I thought, you have to have the need for intimacy and romance to drive you or you wouldn’t do it at all.

I didn’t really believe any of these arguments, they only gave me pause. It made me notice what a disempowered position I was used to adopting in order to be bothered to pursue romantic love. And I wasn’t in the business of choosing disempowerment, so I went ahead and chose not to need a man. I assumed I would still find reasons to want romantic love should it present itself, but I honestly didn’t know for sure.

I mention this because it’s just one example that has brought me to the position I find myself in now. I don’t need stuff. The process of converting to a new energy mode of life involved, for me and many others who I knew were going through the same process, spending a lot of time on my own. It was a beautiful time for me. I had my 5 acres of forest in the mountains and my partner and I built a little cabin and deck on the slope overlooking the town and the opposite mountainside. There was no power or water other than what I brought with me and I cooked, washed and contemplated on the deck. For about three years I spent half of every week there completely on my own. Sometimes I would be looking forward to company when I finally went back to the city and sometimes I would message my partner and say, I don’t want to leave yet. I want to stay another night.

So I don’t need company either. That phase of solitude has finished for me now, I don’t have any need to go and stay there on my own anymore, but the opposite hasn’t kicked in either. I am socialising more again but, you know, what I use to think of as interesting conversations now prove themselves to be a group of people placing themselves on a series of spectrums of principle. ‘I am not racist; I disapprove of murder and premeditated murder is much more unforgivable; I boycott this company for this reason; I don’t condescend to watch such and such TV programme, I’m just not that kind of person;’ and so on. It’s as though we define ourselves by our preferences and principles and, if we can find a way to enforce it, we define everyone else by them too. We box ourselves (and everyone else) into tighter and tighter confines, higher and higher walls. ‘Stop talking!’ I want to say, ‘You won’t be able to move your limbs if you go on much longer.’

Because in new energy we are not trying to define ourselves against the physical world in which we find ourselves. WE come first. WE just are, and it’s no longer our task to slice aspects of ourselves off and attempt to discard them. They still exist, fortunately, and are waiting somewhere just outside of physical perception to be accepted back into wholeness. The great reunification.

So my issue is: what do I enjoy these days? What motivates my next move? I don’t have to use interactions with people to define myself, to play out karma, or to gain love and acceptance. I keep on finding myself engaged in activities I used to enjoy, and starting to yawn or feeling a bit drained or just thinking maybe I don’t like doing this anymore.

But what do I like doing?

I still feel happy almost all of the time, sometimes inspired (in an undirected way) and, at worst, a bit bored. The fact that I have little motivation for life is not a statement of depression, this is not about my emotional state. It is a simple question I am asking myself. It is my current project. I hope I will be letting you know soon what life after karma looks like, what generates passion in the soul that has everything, so to speak.